The Blessing of Enjoying the Company of Yourself

I was driving down the winding road of Daang Hari very early today  after dropping off Kiko to San Beda....and suddenly I am alone in the car. I was very alert, very aware of myself, my thoughts and my surroundings....

The flowers and trees are brighter, shinier and so they seem.....there seem to be a blessing in being alone once in a while, having your own cocoon....you suddenly become very present, yourself becomes the focus of your own thoughts.  I can sing as loud and as out of tune as I can ....It is a very nice feeling to enjoy quiet moments with yourself, seemingly alone in your cocoon and yet so much aware of your surroundings, of the cars breezing past you or the cars stopping at the sides.....of bikers with their colorful attires and leisurely peddling their bikes..you get to enjoy the company of yourself..... you distinctly hear your voice , distinctly hear your thoughts and you enjoy being alone with them....allow your thoughts to wonder ..

It is during these moments that you get to make amends with yourself,  discuss the things that have happened and reconcile the real you with the you  one has to present to the world.....It is in these times that you get to scold yourself for  letting your dark side get the better of you and at the same time forgive yourself  for the blunders of the past....decide to be happy today and look forward to tomorrow..

I enjoyed that ride with myself...the weather was perfect, cloudy with the strong breeze laughing out loud in my ears.... you see I like cloudy  weather, not so much sunshine , not so much rain and lots of wind in my face....



My soul is refreshed ...ready to face the weekend !!! Then BOOM! back to reality...gotta fetch my laundry!!! Ciao!!

After the the Miracle......

...after the miracle what?  After the miracle........

-    we pray, we put our hands together and thank the LORd, thank Mama Mary for the intercession ....

-    we acknowlege the people who were instrumental in seeing that miracle happen, we pray for them that

      they will never grow tired of helping people see miracles everyday..

-    we committ to "pay it forward" to share the blessings , to be instruments of GOD's loving presence.....

-    we take stock of our blessings, see our surroundings , see everything in a new light, with awe , with
      reverence, with wonder .....
-   we promise ourselves that we will be more forgiving, kinder , more understanding and less judgemental
-   we try to be a bettter person, better friend, better mom, better wife, better officemate, better human
     being...
-   we hope that GOD will give us the courage, the wisdom , the love we need to be all of these and more....

After the miracle, the sun shines brighter  !!!!!!  And when the rain comes, we dance naked in the rain!!!!

My Miracle

Today I got my miracle......how sweet is that?  I have been praying for this one miracle! Not too long ago......just last week but the power of prayer, the power of sincere ,unadulterated  prayer, has once again saved me , proven to me that ,yes, our GOD is awake and is with us!

Maybe there is nothing like some crisis to bring about this dependency on a higher power. Maybe I needed this crisis so that i will see and realize that I don't have to depend on myself everytime, that maybe I have to let go and let GOD do the magic, give me the luck I need! And sure enough, I got my miracle.

I have been praying for 3 days , crying my soul out for my GOD !Asking this specific thing even maybe doing some bold things but lo and behold, I got my miracle out of the blue. When all the time I was thinking was what else can I do to change the minds of these  people, what else can I do to have this one thing , to be given this one thing. Sunday,  I have  compiled 5 pages of arguments and reasons to give , to write to insist what I want , maybe what I needed is this situation.  Needed to see that my LORD is with me and if only I would stop my human ways and allow HIS divine grace to make me see ...

This morning, i received a text from an unknown no., "Ok ka na"...i had no idea what that meant, I asked who was sending the texst and when it was revealed who was sending that text, i knew in my heart I have it!! I have my miracle!!!! Yehey!!Ok na ako sa Museum? The answer" ok ka na sa museum'!!! Then I was called to a room and informed , what would you do if your wish is granted" I said " i will work my ass off for the GSIS"

And I mean it, meant every word, i just hope I will be given the wisdom, the courage to do all I need to do .....

Miracles do happen you know, we just have to have the courage to let go and let GOD. We just have to make up our minds that we want something, we want it bad enough to ask the universe not to let  us wait some more....

I remember saying this to a wise old man " if I want something bad enough, the universe will give it to me, it is mine"...... I believe it, will always believe because my life has been one blessing after the other.....but we have to pursue our dreams, we have to want it so bad that we make up our minds to pursue it, pursue it relentlessly and pray relentlessly ...storm the gates of heaven with prayers  and before we know it, the universe will act , act towards the fulfillment of that one wish , that one want and it's mine, it's ours!!

Today , i open my eyes to the miracles all around me. Miracles i don't see and yet they are there...maybe I don't have to open my eyes wide , but maybe I have to squint my eyes for they are tiny, tiny miracles that surround the earth , surround my reality and boom!!! I have everything I need and everything I want...

Try it, squint a little you might just see a miracle!!!!

Feelings...Roller coaster Ride...

So today the fate I waited for how many months is in...I have learned that I am or will be with the GLO or GSIS Legal Office.  I am floating , floating with different feelins..I  have yet to finish mourning the loss of our department , the pressure of rushing a letter to the Chairman  of the CMC when I learned I have been bumped off from the Museum and yet there is hope since the person who was slotted to the Museum declined it. And the silver lining I am hoping to see after I submitted the letter and emailed people rallying to my side...and now comes the news that I am , after all , with the GLO. 

I have said this time and again , made known to the executives how grateful i am to Atty. Dodgie and Leony for saving my sanity when I needed it , when they offered me a position at the GLO.  However, there comes a time that a person need to decide and chose where her heart is....I was also offered a position at the Museum that suddenly became vacant and I had to decide..Certianly a  woman has the right to change her mind :).....and changed my mind I did.....talked to all concern giving up my slot int he GLO, thinking it was the right thing to do!! Right thing to do since the position becomes vacant and that it can be given to another person who might be swimming in the pool and embracing and getting ready to face life with the museum.. or so i thought....and yet after all is said and done , i am left with a bag full of uncertainty.

You see when I backed out from the GLO, i know I will be offending maybe "burning the bridge" since I am guilty of changing my mind and accepting another position. Thought all along when I was no longer included in the GLO orientation , i thought everything has been settled.. How wrong  was I....There is an uneasy feeling  since am back with the GLO. I just hope I will find my footing when the time comes that I need to join them and I hope they find it in their hearts to at least understand that it was not betrayal, it was not a personal offense when I tried , tried my best to get out of that committment.... I can work and I will work hard, but i am really sorry to be sayng this and yet this is what I feel.....I will be applying again ......my heart is not with GLO, flexibilty as the PGM said it, but flexibility is only expected from us and from people who have nobody to turn to, nobody  powerful to take the cudgels for them.....i hate saying this and yet this is how i feel....those who have somebody to protect them got what they wanted and more , those who don't are asked to be flexible,,,there is hope still .......but it really saddens me that these is what has become of all the hopes and expectations I have had from those who I thought will be bringing in a whole new perspective and a whole new way of being, of doing.....of course as they said, it is not yet final......tomorrow is another day.....the sun will be shining , miracles are waitng to happen ...i am still waiting for another miracle for me....pray with me.....

Then another ride....this afternoon a check worth 1k dollars was delivered to me!! my pocket money for the 23rd World Solar Car race courtesy of Vince Perez..what a generous man!!! This is of course part of my prize for winning the Sikat II Donor Challenge conducted by the World Wild Life fund for Nature (WWF) , the PANDA family!!! I also got a new bag, a bigger PANDA bag and several shirts to tide me over my trip to the outback!!!

i am exhausted.........dizzy , fearful, excited , looking forward to the trip of a lifetime and yet apprehensive for what awaits me after my trip............share my ride!!

3rd Day with DLSU Solar Car Team

Do you know what this will become?

Stretcher made of a few shirts and 2 poles!

3rd and last day of the Survival Training........improvisation ,improvisation ,improvisation!!!! check out the pictures!!! This is what you can do with two poles and the shirt on your back!!!

This is how you make a neck brace with a bull cap and cravatt or cloth!

The finish product , neck brace!

You can protect a victim's neck and head   by doing this!!

Volunteering to be the victim!!! ha ha ha!!!

it was a day full of being creative , creative daw, being resourceful and a day of  inspiration.  After our review, of all the bandaging, compresion and respiration , lifting and dragging , we had a scenarion and as usual, the victims (there are 2 teams) are the 2 ladies!!!

I am the victim buried with " labas ang bituka" situation which a very creative La Sallista turned into " labas ang bilbil!!! My eyes were closed so I did not see who said it!!! Grrrr ha ha ha!!

Our new guest speaker/Resource Person is non other than "the Dr Ted Esquerra" of the Philippine Mt. Everest Team!! 

The the two ladies who generously shared their time , knowledge and tough love with us for two days!! Thank you Faye and Rich!!

2nd Day -Survival Training

assisting victim to walk!!

Drag the victim race?

foot!

Dragging by the shirt...

Bandages o bondage? Carl's dialog!!

It's the second day and before proceeding to La Salle , I wen tto the Office first just to inform my bosses first and check my email, as it turned out, nothing so important that I can not leave for the next working day!!

In La Salle I was expecting I will be late since  I left GSIS  at 920 am, surprisingly, they have not started and there are just a few young people inside the room. O lucky ...i still have not missed anything... Martin came in and said maybe we can start now..Btw, I learned the names of the other very young people. The very polite one is Amron, there is Andrew  the small but terrible kiddo, then there is Charleston, the bespectacled kid and Nariv. Then good news, Mr Isidro the very accommodating guy , turns out to be Sid or Isidro and that is his first name..Marfori is his surname..hmmm I can still remember names and faces...ha ha ha ! Well, then there is the lanky kid named Charles.....who was so ticklish he can not stay still . A soon as somebody touches him to lift him, he was supposedly the victim, he launches into giggles and  wriggling!!

Today we reviewed the Basic Life support, then we were taught bandaging.....wait till you see the pictures some of the kind of bandages  are almost  styled blouses!!! And these members of the team were saying they can survive wit the "cravatt" ,one less shirt to take to  Australia. The cravatt is the bandaging cloth....wait till I upload the pictures!Amazing.!! They have bandages for impaled eye and the bandage is really really cute. One of the guys managed to make a sort of "shades"  out of the cravatt!

Came the trauma/injury assessment, it became so scientific , we had an anatomy class...Felt like we were in an anatomy lecture. But the fun and so hirap part came when they taught the "lifting" of injured persons. There is the fireman's lift, lovers lift , an unknown lift (we will probably know tomorrow) , piggy ride and  so many lifts I can not remember and we literally lifted each other! I got to lift Carol only once ,  a modified piggy back ride and that's it for me! ha ha ha!1Talk about age!! But the young ones and Martin , they continued even turning the whole thing into a competition, who can lift first and who can race better! then there is the "helping" the victim into a sitting position and and helping the victim walk, I got the kids in trouble when I was playing the part of the victim , we lost the race and the guys have to do 20 push ups and they forced  ((was it) Andrew to do the push ups for me!! Even Professor Martin was not spared, he did a set of push ups!  Professor Jack on the other hand had an excuse and did not join us....!!! Mon was also able to wriggle out of the lifting and dragging , he went home early!!! But Carol was game, did some more lifting and being lifted. Of course I begged off after a while..I have a mild scoliosis which I do not want to get worse!! Excuses excuses!!  Now the dragging part of the rescue is another thing, my oh my but by this time the high has come to a low....I am amazed , it turns out these young  people can also get tired.....but the spirit , oh no , the energy may have plummeted but they persevered.....the spirit is really really strong and Sid  lead the team. Martin on the other hand really got tired he begged off saying I have a 6 o'clock class and that is the end of it!!

Btw , whe the dragging time came , these kids even added dialogs when they were dragging their victim, Lariv the victim said when he was being rescued from a fiery death, "iwanan mo na ako" and Charles said, "hindi sabay tayong mamamatay" , with all the perspiration , grime and dust coming from the floor!

This is what I realized these kids, well they are not kids anymore but I think I see them as children, have the spirit, they have the competetive spirit, the spirit of having fun and the heart to persevere...The activities are really not easy ans Rich and faye added penalties but these kids they persevered while having fun..I think this is the spirit that will win them the Race......!!!!!

Between us, Rich acted a little like the military cadre I use to take orders from when I was taking up CAT ha ha ha!!! Wait for the pictures. it was really a riot!!!

Coming up!!!! Training pictures!!!

Our dummy!!!

Compression! Compression! Intiendes? Compreder!

The Ticklish guy!!

Helmets? Mummies unwrapped?

Who this? Charles?

With this , one less shirt to take to OZ!

Bandages !Bandages!

Lover's Lift

Piggy ride !!! Go rich go !!!

Lifting!!!

Dancing? No walking in cadence  while lifting!!

Cravatt!!

Capt Jack Sparrow with a one eyed shades?