Friday, September 22, 2017

Our own traps that get us...



Got into a conversation with some friends and the topic: Flirting

Made me re-think my position about it.........

Flirting is only recommended to those who are firmly in control of their urges...emotions ....flirting is not as harmless as it looks for those whose situations may put them in harm's way , if they flirt.....I flirt, and I ask , who does not? One time or another ?  But the thing is if one flirts, boundaries might be crossed,  we set boundaries. and when we flirt , we put ourselves in a situation ,we might not be able to control.  Flirting give us a sense of power, a sense of being beautiful ,albeit,  momentarily....

If you can not handle flirting ...do not flirt..... we do not dig traps that one day will get us.

Goodbye is there because...


September 23, 2017

When the heart is tired , when it is sick with all the jeers and blame, when the heartache is overwhelming ..

Time is at hand to free myself  from this guilt, time to free myself  from the disrespect, time to get out from my life. I know have have given you wings,fly free from us! Soar, leave and find yourself. We might not  have been good to you  as you have time and again said to my face.

Life is fair that way, life is unfair , this way, when I think  ,I have done right , the other party thinks and feels, otherwise.  But life goes on, go on, find what is right to you, for you.

May be I am wrong, we are wrong to you , wrong for you . Maybe you will find people  people who will be good to you the way you define what is good to yu.  But right now, the time has come to part ways, to stop making our lives, or maybe both our lives, all our lives, miserable.

Make a life of your own, suited from what you want, to what you define as a good life. It's time!

Good bye and if one day we meet again, I hope you are happy  and living the life youa re meant to live. Living life on your own terms, free from the past, free from us!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

DREAM AWAY

i have put all my dreams at bay
I have temporarily put them away
Your dreams come  true

The smell , the scenes , sky so blue
All yours and you

Your happiness, your fulfillment
Has become my commitment

Time is neigh
My time  comes anew
Forget yours and you!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

A lone wolf indeed

I have never been hurt as I was hurt tonight . The thing that got to me was I was ganged up kept in the dark by the persons rather wolves who I thought had my back . People who I believe will take care of me when I can not do that for myself . People I trusted but how wrong I was.

Tonight I am feeling the truth that I am really a lone wolf.. Left by my packed not that I took it against them then but now I am feeling the full impact of being a lone wolf .. Vulnerable and yet free, hurt but hanging on . Left and taken for a fool but not so bitter as not to journey on ..

I continue n my way prowling the night alone...plodding on from stream to stream meadows to meadows taking a rest on abandoned caves and coves ....staring at the night by myself and dreaming dreams alone...

I shall prevail until I am no more... A lone wolf ...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Sun Trekker: Selective Kindness ....Wickedness

Sun Trekker: Selective Kindness ....Wickedness: You know it is not about you? Do you Well, I don’t. I mope around , feeling rejected, feeling isolated and feeling unwanted. Why are pe...

Selective Kindness ....Wickedness

You know it is not about you? Do you Well, I don’t. I mope around , feeling rejected, feeling isolated and feeling unwanted.

Why are people mean? Why do people become mean? Is it out of bitterness?

I have seen people who use to be good , who use to be considerate, who use to be true ..people who used to be fair become puppets on strings ….just going around with the flow , just letting people manipulate them? Being like the Queenbee ,the meany Why ?because they become hostages of some kind of power ? Do they get used to being mean by being with people who can make them mean because she hold the purse strings?

Do people become mean or it is the true colors shining through when they get the chance ? When being mean is supported by a few or maybe more?

Is this even true ? That people are really mean , they hide it but when being mean is accepted, they show their true colors?

Do we ask ourselves why people get isolated? Is this their choice? It is easy to see if isolation is a choice but what if isolation is an imposed sanction, sanction to those wo are different from them  , different according to their perception….colored by some kind of bias, trauma, upbringing, bitterness, insecurity, jealousy or just plain “I don’t like you” syndrome?

What brings about this “I don’t like you syndrome”….are you obnoxious? Are you boastful ?are you mean and unfriendly and inconsiderate , are you an abomination , deserving to be isolated? Do you have an attitude so bad that you are not liked, not respected?  Is it really about you?  In more instances than not, no, it is about them..but how do you know…how do you fight this isolation ,how do you stand firm, stand smiling and being happy when your spirit feels crushed…… when your heart is broken ,when you question how is it I am not liked, not respected ..why is their perception of you like that or is it your perception…..you know you  try to be fair, friendly , you get on their jokes and idiosyncrasies  and yet they won’t give you the time of day when you    try to be you. You try to be more accepting of their flaws and yet they try not to accept the flaws you have…..

They make the effort not to like you and teaches others to do the same to..all for what?  Wicked….wicked…what else can you say …wickednesss is when you undermine somebody for whatever reason..you undermine somebody when you do not like her to shine and succeed…when you put hindrances on her path …when you make people turn against somebody because you hold the power …but come to think of it, maybe they do not need “turning”. Maybe just like you they are wicked and they found an atmosphere where they can be wicked and they prey on somebody so unlike you, so unlike them that the person becomes an easy target…

Why do people do not like anybody who are unlike them? In this age and time, bigotry is as present as it was 3000 years ago….the only difference is , it is hidden and I hope not flourishing…..
 
But the Lord strengthens those who wait…..and He is close to the brokenhearted and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed…

When we hide behind the smiles and yet undermines the people we let that ugly side of humanity wins..we let  bigotry and wickedness become the order of the day….we may be kind to people who are similar to us, kind to people who we like and yet we are mean and wicked with people we do not like ..when we are like that, what then are we, kind ? selectively kind?

Kindness is for everybody, you are not kind if you are kind only to ……and unkind to others?  We justify this, with the thought that we are kind to our families ,we are charitable to them because they are our families , they are our friends and when somebody is not our family, not our friend, not within our inner group, not in our sphere, we can be unkind? We can be wicked?we can be biased? We can be rude, inconsiderate?

If we believe we are kind, let us examine ourselves, let us see to whom are we kind, do we select people we will be kind to?


My hope is that people can be kind , kind to himself, to others to everybody …..let us not measure our kindness against whether they are our friends , they are like us…..try measuring your kindness when dealing with people so unlike you, with people who we do not like …maybe that is real kindness…maybe that is the kindness the world needs now..the kindness that makes  humanity shine through….




Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Rain ...Rain....






I love the rain…it is raining hard and I am loving it ..i love the feel of  the rain..i love the pitter patter on the roof, the smell of fresh everything after the rain and the sun peeking behind the clouds……

I love how the flowers and the plants seem so alive , fresh and dewy after the rain …I love it when it rains…I can sit on my big chair near the window, seeing droplets of rain ,tons of them …sipping hot chocolate and eating to my heart’s desire….

I love it when I can bathe in the rain..it has been long since I have done this….ages ..maybe another life time ago…but  still remember it, I was pregnant with Kiko and Nikita was just one year old or so…it was in San Juan….yes it seems another life time ago….seemingly I have no care , I was pregnant and I was happy…happy as a child playing in the rain….

I miss those days , when I can play in the rain, with no cares …..

Today I would like to think I am happy still, and maybe I am….however, the rains bring another feeling…..I am still happy to see my old friend ,the rain, but at the back of my mind. I  am bothered…there is this tingling feeling of unease……….the rain is my friend…but it is an impatient rain….unmindful ……

It is raining hard again….I am afraid…the rivers will swell, the waters will rush in, flooding …flooding and bring chaos in the street, in the lives of people….

These days, the rain  wrecks     havoc, with no thought, no concern for the lives it has turned upside down… and yet …

The rain is still my friend….I await the day when I can feel it again in my face……I await my friend knowing fully well ,things may not turn out well …..



But the rain is the rain…its power all its own …….i hope one day others will befriend the rain…again