Unease...

Here I am , it's the weekend, and  I am supposed to be relaxing ,maybe resting...sigh...I am sooo not any of these two...

I AM TRYING TO RELAX but I am failing!! Deep breath ,deep breaths...

I do not know why I am feeling like this..I can't concentrate, I think I am having a panic attack for some reason i can not even identify!  Let us see..

Tomorrow I will be going to my OB-Gyne for the results of my blood chem, ECG and xray ...for what? Well, I think my endometrium is thickening and the doctor said she has to perform a D and C? Well I have an idea what it is but I can't spell it ha ha ha!! See that is nervous laughter...sigh..Then there is the matter of a friend's reservation, i am really really sad ,embarrassed and very sorry..something not so good happened to the booking and now we are scrambling to get one for them....I can not help but feel guilty about this ...but I am helpless....but I am checking ..I am praying ,praying so hard, that all will end well...  Mama Mary help us....

And now my D and C procedure..I just got hold of the results of my blood chem and it seems my Glucose is High and some other things are also High...I will be at the Asian Hospital tomorrow, I hope everything will be ok...and then the issue of my myoma..2 big ones , bigger than my uterus according to my OB and a cyst in my uterus...my I am really feeling soooo old .....

I thnik tis is what happens to our bodies if we really do not take care of it pretty well...but now that I am recing that so called age of having a mature insurance policy....?  my body is telling me to take better care of it.....and I will just as soon as I got these things out of my uterus..

Well, this is my body , THE BODY OF A SOON TO BE 45 YEAR OLD LADY!!!