Early Onset of the " Empty Nest Feeling"

I am turning 45 this May , and what better age can I be in? No better age than 45! My  GSIS policy will be maturing though I have converted to LEP a few years ago and thus I am not expecting a bonanza of maturity money! But I am feel I am in another level , another page of my life? My marriage is great , the kids are slowly composing their lives, getting more independent each day and Tops and I are feeling  a little left out.

I used to say that the years fly really fast and that my kids will be adults soon and now that they are on their way    to adulthood, it seems that we are the ones not prepared! And all our married life we, at least I thought , that I am looking forward to my kids growing up, having my independence again and living our lives for us again! Then guess what? That level is coming soon and though I am enjoying my "alone" walks , well, I miss the days when I can take my kids anywhere I go, dress them with whatever I want to dress them with (though this is not  saying the 2 teens have always been easy to handle) !  Well, this is maybe the mommy in me talking. When the mommy no longer has a good grip in the "control" department, i think feeling like this is soooo natural for parents!1Ha ha ha . It feels one is loosing one's kids but in reality the teens are just spreading their wings, trying new things and really , really deciding for themselves!! I am  realizing only now  that this independence is the very thing I have tried and tried teaching my kids when they were so much younger and now that they are showing that they learned it well, I am feeling kinda left out, we are feeling kinda left out....Parents!!!

but you know what, modern technology, new things and a changed perspective on things, on what people value, on how people look a things nowadays have made it more difficult for parents to raise kids and probably more difficult for kids and teens to grow up normally ( whoa, normal as in my personal standards and might definitely be very different with  my teens' take on normal ha ha ha) and with less difficulty . And yet when they are on their way to growing up and living a life of their choice, the mommy in me is uncomfortable, maybe even insecure!!! These feelings have lead me to ask myself, is this some sort of early onset of empty nest syndrome ?Bah!!!! Trouble with parents is we cannot wait for our kids to grow up when they are little and yet when they really do grow up, we long for those days that we can freely kiss them and hug them in front of everybody!!!

And who is to say that we are ready to let our teens decide for themselves? Most of the times I really need to bite my lips to control myself from being controlling and tying to make my teens live the life I want them to live. It is really so had to standby and let them live their lives the way they want to live it!!  And no matter how i trust my kids,     no matter how clear their  future seems to be , the mommy in me cannot help myself!!! that's the mommy in me, wait till you see the daddy in my husband!!

but I am sooo thankful to my teens, and though we do not always see eye to eye, in fact we seem to be always arguing ( me I shout as only a mommy can har har har ha :))   and being petty I am proud of them, proud of the fact that they  have given me a full life, they have given me lessons I would have never learnt on my own and for the memories and feelings I  have and will always have in my life!!

Times will be flying so fast , in a few years Tops and I will have the house all to ourselves again!!! In the meantime, I have to live with this teenage boy who has to be told to take a bath and to stay and  sleep in his own room and this young lady who has to be reminded that partying is not her whole life and having designer jeans, designer shoes, designer everything is   the end all and be all of  being a young lady!!!