Sun Trekker
Friday, September 22, 2017
Our own traps that get us...
Got into a conversation with some friends and the topic: Flirting
Made me re-think my position about it.........
Flirting is only recommended to those who are firmly in control of their urges...emotions ....flirting is not as harmless as it looks for those whose situations may put them in harm's way , if they flirt.....I flirt, and I ask , who does not? One time or another ? But the thing is if one flirts, boundaries might be crossed, we set boundaries. and when we flirt , we put ourselves in a situation ,we might not be able to control. Flirting give us a sense of power, a sense of being beautiful ,albeit, momentarily....
If you can not handle flirting ...do not flirt..... we do not dig traps that one day will get us.
Goodbye is there because...
September 23, 2017
When the heart is tired , when it is sick with all the jeers and blame, when the heartache is overwhelming ..
Time is at hand to free myself from this guilt, time to free myself from the disrespect, time to get out from my life. I know have have given you wings,fly free from us! Soar, leave and find yourself. We might not have been good to you as you have time and again said to my face.
Life is fair that way, life is unfair , this way, when I think ,I have done right , the other party thinks and feels, otherwise. But life goes on, go on, find what is right to you, for you.
May be I am wrong, we are wrong to you , wrong for you . Maybe you will find people people who will be good to you the way you define what is good to yu. But right now, the time has come to part ways, to stop making our lives, or maybe both our lives, all our lives, miserable.
Make a life of your own, suited from what you want, to what you define as a good life. It's time!
Good bye and if one day we meet again, I hope you are happy and living the life youa re meant to live. Living life on your own terms, free from the past, free from us!
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
DREAM AWAY
i have put all my dreams at bay
I have temporarily put them away
Your dreams come true
The smell , the scenes , sky so blue
All yours and you
Your happiness, your fulfillment
Has become my commitment
Time is neigh
My time comes anew
Forget yours and you!
I have temporarily put them away
Your dreams come true
The smell , the scenes , sky so blue
All yours and you
Your happiness, your fulfillment
Has become my commitment
Time is neigh
My time comes anew
Forget yours and you!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
A lone wolf indeed
I have never been hurt as I was hurt tonight . The thing that got to me was I was ganged up kept in the dark by the persons rather wolves who I thought had my back . People who I believe will take care of me when I can not do that for myself . People I trusted but how wrong I was.
Tonight I am feeling the truth that I am really a lone wolf.. Left by my packed not that I took it against them then but now I am feeling the full impact of being a lone wolf .. Vulnerable and yet free, hurt but hanging on . Left and taken for a fool but not so bitter as not to journey on ..
I continue n my way prowling the night alone...plodding on from stream to stream meadows to meadows taking a rest on abandoned caves and coves ....staring at the night by myself and dreaming dreams alone...
I shall prevail until I am no more... A lone wolf ...
Tonight I am feeling the truth that I am really a lone wolf.. Left by my packed not that I took it against them then but now I am feeling the full impact of being a lone wolf .. Vulnerable and yet free, hurt but hanging on . Left and taken for a fool but not so bitter as not to journey on ..
I continue n my way prowling the night alone...plodding on from stream to stream meadows to meadows taking a rest on abandoned caves and coves ....staring at the night by myself and dreaming dreams alone...
I shall prevail until I am no more... A lone wolf ...
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Sun Trekker: Selective Kindness ....Wickedness
Sun Trekker: Selective Kindness ....Wickedness: You know it is not about you? Do you Well, I don’t. I mope around , feeling rejected, feeling isolated and feeling unwanted. Why are pe...
Selective Kindness ....Wickedness
You know it is not about you? Do
you Well, I don’t. I mope around , feeling rejected, feeling isolated and
feeling unwanted.
Why are people mean? Why do
people become mean? Is it out of bitterness?
I have seen people who use to be
good , who use to be considerate, who use to be true ..people who used to be
fair become puppets on strings ….just going around with the flow , just letting
people manipulate them? Being like the Queenbee ,the meany Why ?because they
become hostages of some kind of power ? Do they get used to being mean by being
with people who can make them mean because she hold the purse strings?
Do people become mean or it is
the true colors shining through when they get the chance ? When being mean is
supported by a few or maybe more?
Is this even true ? That people
are really mean , they hide it but when being mean is accepted, they show their
true colors?
Do we ask ourselves why people
get isolated? Is this their choice? It is easy to see if isolation is a choice
but what if isolation is an imposed sanction, sanction to those wo are
different from them , different
according to their perception….colored by some kind of bias, trauma,
upbringing, bitterness, insecurity, jealousy or just plain “I don’t like you”
syndrome?
What brings about this “I don’t
like you syndrome”….are you obnoxious? Are you boastful ?are you mean and
unfriendly and inconsiderate , are you an abomination , deserving to be
isolated? Do you have an attitude so bad that you are not liked, not
respected? Is it really about you? In more instances than not, no, it is about
them..but how do you know…how do you fight this isolation ,how do you stand
firm, stand smiling and being happy when your spirit feels crushed…… when your
heart is broken ,when you question how is it I am not liked, not respected
..why is their perception of you like that or is it your perception…..you know
you try to be fair, friendly , you get
on their jokes and idiosyncrasies and
yet they won’t give you the time of day when you try to be you. You try to be more accepting of
their flaws and yet they try not to accept the flaws you have…..
They make the effort not to like
you and teaches others to do the same to..all for what? Wicked….wicked…what else can you say
…wickednesss is when you undermine somebody for whatever reason..you undermine
somebody when you do not like her to shine and succeed…when you put hindrances
on her path …when you make people turn against somebody because you hold the
power …but come to think of it, maybe they do not need “turning”. Maybe just
like you they are wicked and they found an atmosphere where they can be wicked
and they prey on somebody so unlike you, so unlike them that the person becomes
an easy target…
Why do people do not like anybody
who are unlike them? In this age and time, bigotry is as present as it was 3000
years ago….the only difference is , it is hidden and I hope not flourishing…..
But the Lord strengthens those who
wait…..and He is close to the brokenhearted and he saves those whose spirits
have been crushed…
When we hide behind the smiles
and yet undermines the people we let that ugly side of humanity wins..we
let bigotry and wickedness become the
order of the day….we may be kind to people who are similar to us, kind to
people who we like and yet we are mean and wicked with people we do not like
..when we are like that, what then are we, kind ? selectively kind?
Kindness is for everybody, you
are not kind if you are kind only to ……and unkind to others? We justify this, with the thought that we are
kind to our families ,we are charitable to them because they are our families ,
they are our friends and when somebody is not our family, not our friend, not
within our inner group, not in our sphere, we can be unkind? We can be
wicked?we can be biased? We can be rude, inconsiderate?
If we believe we are kind, let us
examine ourselves, let us see to whom are we kind, do we select people we will
be kind to?
My hope is that people can be
kind , kind to himself, to others to everybody …..let us not measure our
kindness against whether they are our friends , they are like us…..try
measuring your kindness when dealing with people so unlike you, with people who
we do not like …maybe that is real kindness…maybe that is the kindness the
world needs now..the kindness that makes
humanity shine through….
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Rain ...Rain....
I love the rain…it is raining hard and I am loving it ..i
love the feel of the rain..i love the
pitter patter on the roof, the smell of fresh everything after the rain and the
sun peeking behind the clouds……
I love how the flowers and the plants seem so alive , fresh
and dewy after the rain …I love it when it rains…I can sit on my big chair near
the window, seeing droplets of rain ,tons of them …sipping hot chocolate and
eating to my heart’s desire….
I love it when I can bathe in the rain..it has been long
since I have done this….ages ..maybe another life time ago…but still remember it, I was pregnant with Kiko
and Nikita was just one year old or so…it was in San Juan….yes it seems another
life time ago….seemingly I have no care , I was pregnant and I was happy…happy
as a child playing in the rain….
I miss those days , when I can play in the rain, with no
cares …..
Today I would like to think I am happy still, and maybe I
am….however, the rains bring another feeling…..I am still happy to see my old
friend ,the rain, but at the back of my mind. I
am bothered…there is this tingling feeling of unease……….the rain is my
friend…but it is an impatient rain….unmindful ……
It is raining hard again….I am afraid…the rivers will swell,
the waters will rush in, flooding …flooding and bring chaos in the street, in
the lives of people….
These days, the rain
wrecks havoc, with no thought, no concern for the
lives it has turned upside down… and yet …
The rain is still my friend….I await the day when I can feel
it again in my face……I await my friend knowing fully well ,things may not turn
out well …..
But the rain is the rain…its power all its own …….i hope one
day others will befriend the rain…again
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